We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
