Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
