Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
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