I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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