HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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