we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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