No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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