Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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