So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
