so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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