Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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