Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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