At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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