you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
