I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
