Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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