Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
where are my eyebrows?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
