Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
3 2 1 whiskey
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
