Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
