Please, let me fuck your mom
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
