what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
