Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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