Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
