Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
