Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
