she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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