its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
