Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
one might say we're banned from that church
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
