I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
