you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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