guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize