Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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