summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
