meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
