The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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