I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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