Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
