guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
