I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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