I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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