She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize