If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
