hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
