did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
