he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he thought i was a dude.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
