i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have aggressive nipples.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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