Fuck appropriateness.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
