Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
