Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
