if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
