Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
