It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Can I color on your dick again?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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