i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
