He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
