My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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