he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
