i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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