Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
that is very illegal...i love you.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
