mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
