Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
