once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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